Why do men make us feel pathetic

Ok so the thought for today and probably every other day is why when we like/love/lust some guy/woman and it doesn't work out we turn into a pathetic version of ourselves......

I have been through a fair share of these myself I assure you, the main ones are acknowledged below.

No 1. - Was the high school sweetheart (which no other male compares to) we were together 2 years and had the most fantastic time together, then in a mutual agreement (no lies) we decided it was time to move on as our lives were heading in very different directions, he had already turned 18 and I wasn't far away from it, and to be honest my theory always was that I can't just sleep with one guy my whole life! But we also had this fairytale dream that we could be friends - RIGHT! So we broke up and all of a sudden I didn't know what to do with myself, I dated a heap of guys (no sex) and called and called and called my ex all the time. We would even meet up and do something social together, or the one time that I knew he had started seeing someone else so I deliberately seduced him and we slept together. Needless to say we didn't get back together and he kept dating the other girl! I felt so desperate for him all the time and called him so so so much it was a joke!

No 2. - My first love after high school, who I was also engaged to. Now there were so many signs from the start that I should have left but love is blinding as they say. So we met through mutual friends fell madly in love and then it began (the psychosis from his side). If I went out and came home late I would get 20 questions, I found one day all my male friends phone numbers were deleted from my mobile and psycho bf advised me I would not be speaking to them again, occasionally I would have to stay after work for meetings etc... and at one meeting after we had finished there was like 20 missed calls on my phone. But I stayed with him (very blinded) and so when things got really bad I would still find myself begging for forgiveness for no reason what so ever. I finally left one day and found myself still calling him all the time and wanting to get back together (yeah I don't know why either). I had that awful feeling of I can't live without him.

No 3. - The fuck buddy. So I had moved on with my life and living in a beautiful coastal town having the time of my life and then I met the hottest guy (and best sex of my life). So we had alot of fun nights together and never saw each other thru the day time. I somehow thought that I should be turning this into a relationship even though it was clearly never going to be one, and so the texts and calls began from my end asking to go on dates and crap, which needless to say ended the best sex of my life.

But after No 3. I decided NO MORE BEING NEEDY AND PATHETIC! So I dated this chef for awhile and it was a hot and passionate relationship and one day we had this huge fight (he texted me and told me he slept with someone else) and he told me to "get back in my box and get a life" so I walked away from him and drove off and never spoke to him again, because I realised I am not getting twisted up in this shit and begging for forgiveness for something I hadn't done. So I went and got a life and didn't call or text him once afterwards and it felt so friggin good!

So a couple months after this I met the love of my life who I now live with and have been with for 8 years in October, and if he is out and about or home late I don't do the needy texts or calls unless it has been like 24 hrs and maybe he needs help somewhere! (which has never happened). But it is such a weight off my shoulders to finally be like this!

So my question to you ladies is why do we do the needy phone calls, texts, emails, etc...... and why do we cry over them and think they are like the only thing in our lives worth living for!

Life is not all about men. I know I have one, but we seem to play on a pretty even playing field.

Don't forget life is about you!!!

Signing out.....

everybody has a blog......

Ok so apparently everybody has a blog and I started this one well over a year ago and never continued because I wasn't sure people should read my f*****up thoughts!

So here goes again....(I even once had a psychologist say I could do a blog which would be like keeping a diary of my feelings anyways, and I could leave it so only I read it)..

So no... I didn't go to uni but I am studying what I wanted to do and so far so good. My class is a little bit diverse though, we range from the ages of 16 to 50 and we all come from different walks of life and makes for some interesting arguments!

Today is one of those awful days where I have NOTHING to do, I live in this town with no friends to catch up with, my shift was cancelled at work today, my only company in the household (a lorikeet) died the other day and it is extremely quiet and thought provoking. I don't care to be left alone with my thoughts very often... it just creates havoc! So i've been listening to and downloading music from my favourite boy band from when I was a teen cause it makes me feel good... (feeling pathetic right about now).

So I sit here typing up this thing and wonder "what the hell am I doing" seriously. I am definitely not interesting in anyway and have nothing interesting to type about. But i'm doing it anyways. I do have this great boyfriend in this town though which is the reason I came to be here in the first place, but how long can u stay for them when u feel suffocated and they think u r joking when u suggest moving to somewhere else. So the decision from my end though is, finish the course get the certificate/diploma and then follow your career, which I will more than likely have to move for anyway because I seem to be studying something where I will have to wait for people to die to get into a job in it.

One more rant though - what is with the friggin people on facebook that have these " I love life", "Life is so good right now" statuses, my question is "is it really"? or r we trying to impress some people?

So signing out now for a second time to go and listen to some AWESOME uplifting teen style music!

#1

Ok so here goes the first instalment of my daily thoughts!!!

So yesterday a normal boring Sunday I decided to look into Uni (oh god what am I doing i'm 28) and it looks like a possibility next year, after all I can still have a job, I used to work in retail for christs sake so I know that jobs to work around uni hours are quite possible..... yet I am THE procrastinator and I put everything off or never do it cause i'm lazy and pretty much can't be bothered stepping out of the comfort zone even though i'm not happy with it!!

So I know the course I wanna do and it's even on offer at the Uni in my town, yet over the next few months I know I will come up with justifying reasons (in my own head) as to why I shouldn't do it...and the first 3 will be

1. I'm 28 won't I be like the oldest person there? (no I won't be but I still think it)

2. Oh my god what about money (I know for a fact I can earn nearly as much as I do now)

3. Am I taking an easy way out of life?

I know all my reasonings are not in fact justified, yet I will still think them...

So you know what i'm just gonna do it, because I have actually found a career I want, for awhile I wasn't even sure I wanted one, but I know if I don't have a career I will regret it.

STOP PROCRASTINATING!!

So i've searched the Uni website even put on the calendar for their opening day later in the year

So i'm now signing out for the evening and will surely be back with whatevers going on in my head!

(and the picture is just because i'm going to Thailand in a few months and i'm super excited)