Marriage

So here goes..... you may agree or not agree with me on the below.

As I get older and near the age of 30 I must say I don't overly get the point of marriage and I have become quite cynical about it. Yes I have a partner and we've been together 8 years and if he asked me to marry him I wouldn't say no.

But he also feels the same way, he doesn't quite get the point of the whole thing.

Society's notion of marriage is something between a man and a woman (which I hope also changes soon) which they feel the need to do because of history and culture, there seems to be nothing overly necessary about it. Just because I am in a committed relationship does not mean I should get married. Me not being married does not mean my relationship is any less meaningful, loving, intimate, affectionate than those who are married.

Now don't get me wrong I have had times where I thought I wanted to get married and do the whole kiddie thing. But I had this calm realisation a few months ago where I realised I don't want to get married, I don't feel the need to prove anything and I know I love my partner (sorry i'm using partner because boyfriend sounds a bit strange when you are older) and people close to me know I love him and I don't feel the need to have a ceremony to show you all that. Oh and I don't want kids at this stage in my life (or maybe ever), I only ever thought I wanted them because society thinks you should.

First thing I don't get on marriage is the COST..... You have got to be kidding me!!!!! Most people these days fund the wedding themselves and don't have the luxury of help from their parents and why should parents help out when their idea of weddings was a lot different to ours these days. I don't feel the need to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, give me a holiday or house deposit (maybe) any day over the cost of a wedding. So if I ever feel the need to get married it shall be quite small and definitely not extravagant.

Second thing is why are you getting married? Many moons ago in our society here it was because of religious reasons, which I understand (i'm not religious myself but I get it) you have the ceremony to confirm your union before the eyes of god, you saved yourself for marriage and it was a sin to live together without being married. I also get the feeling some people marry because of fear. The fear that they will spend the rest of their lives alone or that they want people to know that he or she is MINE! (This theory does not prevent divorces in the future). But please don't tell me you got married because you felt pressured by society to do so, we are all entitled to our own opinions and to do our own thing.....and there are many more reasons I could go on with blah blah blah!!! (I also get the fact that some cultures have arranged marriages and this is not about them, it is about the society I live in).

Third thing is I just get the feeling you want to be the centre of attention and throw an elaborate party. Let me assure you your wedding is no more exciting than the last one I went to.... I congratulate the person who has a small wedding and is a little different and they don't wear white.... I love the person who gets married like this and it is so much more fun! I also find weddings a bit boring (sorry guys) but the exact same things are done at 99% of weddings, the garter and bouquet are thrown, the speeches are all the same etc etc... Lets face it the food is never overly great either, how can it be it is done in bulk.

2 weddings I went to when I was younger were quite good, one had bush dancing in a massive hall for the reception and it was fun because it was different. The other one had about 40 people in this lovely little room in a posh hotel and it was quaint and intimate. Oh actually there is another 2 weddings in the last couple years that I went to which were both outside, the ceremony and reception were held in somebody's garden, and I loved it. Actually the second one it rained on us but there were tarps up and nobody really got wet but it just added to the fun of it I thought. But all some people could do was bitch about it instead of just enjoying it and leaving just because of a bit of water. These 2 brides also did not wear the typical white dresses. I would also like to point out 2 brides on facebook, one wore peach and one wore yellow and their dresses were just so much more beautiful!

Oh and don't even get me started on having to be a bridesmaid, i'm not overly keen on the cost that comes with being a bridesmaid either. Cost of the dress, shoes, bag and accessories FAR OUT! and I don't get to wear the dress again and you don't generally get a say in the dress either. (I just love wearing something that looks shit on me).

So yes I have obviously had friends who have got married and I love them still. I'm not sure some of them were married for the right reasons but hey!!! As long as you guys are happy that is what matters to me.

I would also like to point out something that got said to me last year from a guy getting married...... "oh I don't really want to get married but it seemed like the next logical step and she really wants to get married so that is kinda why I proposed" ummmmmm no comment. I also feel sorry for the guys that get pressured into it, you girls know who you are the ones that conveniently leave jewellery catalogues around and buy a dress before he has even proposed or just go on and on and on about it ALL THE TIME! Give the guy a break, I tend to find it just scares them when you get like this or they propose for the wrong reasons.

So whatever your reason is for getting married I hope it is the right one and not because of society. I obviously don't see myself getting married anytime soon and if I do you will see us at the registry office, beach or in a garden. Or maybe in Thailand!

This isn't here to overly offend anyone but just to point out we are not all the same and maybe let you think about how you feel about it.

Signing out xxx